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Ways to cope with a difficult ex

Divorce can take its toll in every way on a person. If there was cheating, abuse or betrayal involved, the situation becomes even trickier to navigate. While you are splitting the assets, the time with children and even your best friends, if there is tension between you and your ex, it complicates an already complex situation.

If your ex is the difficult one, you have little to no control over how he or she reacts to you. While you may not be able to control his or her behavior, you do have control over how you handle the situation and your ex.

Respond, not react

Even if you share children, your ex cannot require you to always be available. Unless there is an emergency, any text, email or phone call can wait until you are ready to take it. If you answer immediately when you feel angry or frustrated, it is going to make the situation worse. Always take time to think through your reaction and give your emotions time to settle before you respond to your ex.

Run meetings as a business

You may be meeting about something as impersonal as signing documents or something as intense as how your children are doing at school, but you can always run your meetings as if they are business meetings. Keep the conversation focused on parenting or the subject matter at hand. Do not allow your ex to direct the conversation to intangible problems that have no fix. If you need to, you can even use a script to get through a meeting.

Leave the kids out of it

Your kids love both parents and do not want to choose between the two of you. Never force your kids to take sides or put them in the middle of an argument. Ultimately, this could come back to you as your kids resent you for forcing them to choose.

When you are going through a divorce with a difficult ex, you need an advocate on your side who will see through the emotion and focus on the details. It is a good idea to speak to an attorney immediately.

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