Montgomery County Divorce Law Blog

Telling your kids about your impending divorce

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in Child Custody and Visitation on Tuesday, June 18, 2019.

One of the things that many couples dread the most when they've decided to divorce is breaking the news to their kids. Whether the kids have sensed that this move is coming, or it's a complete shock to them, that conversation with their parents will probably end up being one of the most memorable events of their childhood -- perhaps of their entire life. That's a lot of pressure on parents, so you need to strategize how you're going to approach this conversation.

Of course, how you break the news and how much you tell them will depend in large part on their age.

Very young children (up to 5 years old) will need a simple explanation -- probably with an emphasis on where they'll be living and reassurance that they'll still see both parents and that both will continue to love them and take care of them.
Kids who are a little older and up to the preteen years (about 6 to 11) will likely have more questions. However, again, straightforward, simple explanations are generally best. Their concerns will likely revolve around how their lives will be impacted and how much they'll see each parent.
Preteen and teenage kids (about 12 to 18) will be able to better understand the reasons for a parental breakup. However, that doesn't mean you have to share details with them they don't need to know or that might make them feel differently about a parent. Encourage your kids to share their feelings with you as the divorce process plays out.

Why should unmarried couples get a 'cohabitation agreement?'

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in Divorce on Friday, June 14, 2019.

Many couples of all ages decide to live together -- either instead of getting married or perhaps as an interim step before determining whether marriage is right for them. If you and your significant other have decided to share a home, you are likely going to be buying things together, sharing household expenses and interweaving your financial lives much as married people do. You may even decide to buy a home together or jointly adopt a pet.

If the relationship ends, you have a lot of things to untangle. This can be made easier by drawing up a legal agreement. These agreements go by different names, but they're often called "cohabitation agreements."

Parental alienation after divorce is not okay

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky on Sunday, June 9, 2019.

You and your ex don't have to get along all the time. In fact, it is logical to assume that you don't, since you decided you no longer wanted to be married to each other. However, like most Tennessee parents, you want what's best for your children, especially as you all move on in life, after divorce. You went into divorce understanding that you would always have to interact with your former spouse in relation to your children's lives.

Your plan was to cooperate and compromise as much as possible so that your kids' best interests would always be the highest priority. As time goes on, you're becoming more and more frustrated because it seems that your ex is trying to turn your children against you. It definitely might not be your imagination because it's possible that you're dealing with a parental alienation problem.

Should you file for divorce or wait to be served?

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in Divorce on Friday, June 7, 2019.

When couples decide to divorce, the action must be initiated by one partner and answered by the other. The one who initiates the action is the petitioner or plaintiff and the one who answers it is the respondent or defendant.

Clients frequently want to know whether they should file the petition for divorce or let their partner do so. Are there any strategic advantages to either position?

Tips for conflict-free emails with your co-parent

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in Child Custody and Visitation on Monday, May 27, 2019.

Many divorced couples determine that they can co-parent most effectively when they avoid in-person and phone conversations with one another. It can become easy to slip into old, destructive patterns of communication. Sometimes, a person's tone of voice can be enough to set their ex off. Texts can also too easily be sent in the heat of anger or leave room for misunderstanding.

Anyway, you've decided to use email to communicate about the kids. This gives you a chance to think about what you're saying, organize your thoughts and review the finished product before you hit "send." Meanwhile, if the recipient is angered by something they read (or think they read), they can set it aside for a short time and look at it again when they're calmer.

Smooth family restructuring is key after divorce

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in Child Custody and Visitation on Friday, May 24, 2019.

Once your divorce is final, you, your co-parent and your children will still be a family. Your family will, however, have a different structure than in the past. How smoothly you and your former spouse are able to accomplish this restructuring will likely have a significant impact on how well your kids adjust to their "new normal."

One of the biggest changes, of course, will be that your family will now be spread over two households. Even if one of you stays with the kids in the family home, it's still a big adjustment for them to have one parent no longer there. If you need to move the kids, however, it's essential to let them have some say in how their new home is set up -- even if it's just choosing new bedspreads and wall art for their bedrooms.

Do you suspect your spouse of infidelity?

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky on Wednesday, May 22, 2019.

When you got married, you and your spouse likely shared common hopes and dreams for your relationship and your future life together. Perhaps numerous years have passed since then and you have worked together to make some of those dreams come true, such as having children, maybe starting a business or buying your own home. Marriage can be hard work but also a great blessing.

In a perfect world, you and your spouse would continue together in life without any relationship obstacles to stand in your way. In reality, any number of unexpected situations may arise that shake your relationship to its core, such as suspecting that your spouse is cheating on you. Many Tennessee spouses file for divorce in such circumstances, which is why it's always good to know your options ahead of time, as well as how to protect your and your children's best interests.

How can a postnuptial agreement strengthen your marriage?

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in Property Division on Monday, May 13, 2019.

You and your spouse didn't get a prenuptial agreement before you married. There's still a way to protect your financial future in the event of a divorce. It's called a postnuptial agreement.

Some people are incentivized to get a postnup if they believe they may be headed toward divorce. However, it's typically best to draw one up while things are going well. This can make negotiations a lot easier and more amicable.

First summer after divorce? Follow these co-parenting tips

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky on Saturday, May 11, 2019.

Summer is here, which means the sun is shining and your children are out of school. But while your children may look forward to this time of year, the divorce may throw a wrench into their plans and ideas. The first summer after you and your ex split up can be difficult for the whole family, but it does not need to be a disaster by any means.

While the thought of co-parenting during the summer may stress you out, everything will start to make sense as you go along. You, your former spouse and your kids can adjust to this new normal. Here are some suggestions on how to make the summer after your divorce a successful one – particularly for the best interests of your children.

Navigating wedding costs as divorced parents

On behalf of The Law Office of Steven C. Girsky posted in spousal and child support on Thursday, May 9, 2019.

Recently, we discussed tips for dealing with your co-parent during your child's graduation and surrounding celebrations. Now, we're going to look at another big event that too often causes conflict between divorced parents of young adults -- their child's wedding.

A wedding often comes with more complications than a graduation. Before you even get to the big day where you'll need to deal amicably with your ex and their family in a public setting, there's often the matter of paying for the event.