Going through a divorce is difficult for many reasons. One of the major difficulties involves trying to separate aspects of your shared lives that cannot easily be split. Another is trying to sort out the practical problems from the emotional ones.
Consider child custody. Because custody is often part of the larger divorce process, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that kids can’t be divided up in the same way that possessions and financial assets can. Many parents also make the mistake of letting their concerns over property division become a factor in their child custody case.
In a recent Huffington Post article, a blogger by the name of Jane Ryan wrote about her own divorce experience (which was still in progress at the time of publish). She and her husband decided early on that they would mediate their divorce, and that they would use separate mediators for the financial settlement and the custody agreement. That way, the children could not be used as leverage in the discussions about money.
If you are a parent going through a divorce, it is not necessarily possible or practical to hire separate professionals as Ryan did. But you can strive to abide by the underlying principle, which is to make child custody decisions without undue influence or pressure related to finances.
Divorce is difficult, and co-parenting is even harder. But if you approach both with good intentions and a willingness to compromise, you may find that successful and peaceful resolutions are possible.