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How should I tell my child about our divorce?

Parents do their best to stay together, often enduring years of toxic relationship drama just for the sake of their children. However, is it really helping your children to grow up in a toxic environment like this? Or, if you’re able to “fake it,” what kind of example of living a happy life is that setting? If you’ve finally decided to pull the trigger on your divorce proceedings, here are a few ideas on the best way to tell your children about it.

Deliver the message that both parents love them: Children need to understand that the love of a parent for his or her children is different from the love that a husband and wife have for each other. Tell your children that mommy and daddy will love them forever, no matter what they do and no matter what happens. Let your children know that their living arrangements will change, but the love mom and dad have for them will remain unchanged.

Tell your children as a united front: Don’t talk to your children separately about the divorce. Make sure both you and your spouse are present and that both of you talk about the divorce in a positive way to your children. This way your kids know that the decision was mutual and that both mom and dad are in agreement on the matter. That will help your children feel more emotionally secure and supported.

In addition to talking to children about divorce the right way, parents should also strive to maintain peaceful relations and speak of one another respectfully throughout the divorce process. This will ensure that children feel as safe and secure as parents conclude the divorce without anger.

Source: Huffington Post, “10 Things All Divorcing Parents Should Say To Their Kids,” Sophie Rosen, accessed Feb. 09, 2018


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