If you’re a divorcing parent and you’re worried how your kids will deal emotionally and psychologically with the separation, you’re not alone. Most parents worry about how their kids will experience and survive the emotions associated with the breakup of their mother and father.
Fortunately, concerned parents can do a few things to make sure that they support their children as best they can.
Don’t use your kids as go-betweens or messengers
You might not want to communicate with your ex directly during the divorce process. However, you should resist asking your children questions about what’s going on in your ex-spouse’s home – no matter how curious you are. If there’s something you want to know about your spouse, go ahead and do your sleuth work if you must, but never, ever involve your kids. Also, if you there’s something you need from your ex, communicate with him or her directly. This will help take the pressure of your children and prevent them from becoming the family “diplomats.” That’s a burden no child should ever have to endure.
Expect your kids to dislike your new boyfriend or girlfriend
Your children may not easily warm up to your new boyfriend or girlfriend. In fact, they could wage an all-out war against your new love interest. Be patient with your children, and if you’re certain your new lover is the right match for you and your family, trust that you’re probably right. Your children should eventually warm up to him or her.
One of the best ways to help your kids deal with your breakup is to divorce peacefully. Use divorce mediation if necessary to resolve your disputes and do whatever you can to avoid court proceedings, which can be just as stressful for your family as they are costly.
Source: Kids Health, “Tips for Divorcing Parents,” accessed April 12, 2018