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How to talk to biological children about adopted siblings

| May 1, 2018 | Divorce

Many families have gotten a little bigger with the help of the Department of Children’s Services. This agency is an asset whether you want to adopt a child in the same state or internationally. 

There is much to prepare for an impending adoption, but you do not want to forget one of the most important parts of the process. If you and your partner share any biological children, then you want to make sure they play an active role. You do not want your kids to have any ill will toward the new family member, and there are a few things you want to talk about beforehand. 

Use the right language

You do not want to say the adopted child’s family “gave them up.” This is negative language, and it implies something is wrong with the child. Instead, you want to say the family put the child up for adoption. You can talk to your children about their new sibling’s birth family if you know any information. Above all else, you want to say how the family will receive a new blessing. Listen to any concerns and assure your child everything will remain the same for the most part. The family will simply become a little bigger, but there is enough love to go around. 

Make it clear the same rules apply

Try to keep things as fair as possible. Do not give your biological children more chores than their adopted sibling. Otherwise, this can foster negative emotions early on. 

Include children in the preparation

Chances are good you will need to buy plenty of items for the new addition. From beds to clothing, there are many ways you need to prepare. Do not leave your current children in the dark. Bring them to the store with you. This gives them an opportunity to ask all the questions they want about what will happen in the near future. This may even make your children excited at the prospect of having a new sibling around.  


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